"  DADDY "

Daddy, i dont know where things went wrong or why you decided to do me so wrong, how could you leave me in the cold, since you left i've never felt warm. 

Daddy all those promises of a better tomorrow, Daddy all those times you said you would never leave me alone.

Daddy remember the day we cried together, when you told me that i was your pride and joy, Daddy you said you would live long to enjoy.

Daddy how am i suppose to live without you, Daddy without you i feel so empty, Daddy my heart feels so heavy.

Daddy i have cried so much for you, the pain in my heart feels like holding fire in  my hands.

Daddy i had a baby and you didn't wait to see her, Daddy she looks just like you i hope you can see her.

Daddy now i have a child of my own, i know just how much you loved me, although you always showed me more than you should.

Daddy there is this empty space that i have been trying to fill but Daddy i cant because that's where your suppose to be.

Daddy i miss you and everyday i just wish i could hold you, Daddy i'll never forgive myself for not telling you, Daddy please forgive me.

Daddy i have spent my life trying to make you proud and somewhere in there i messed it all up, Daddy i need you now more than ever, But Daddy they say that your gone forever.

Daddy if you can hear me please help me, Daddy you made me lose hope in love, because if i love the way i love you how do i move on when their gone, Daddy i'm struggling to move on.

Daddy they have forgotten you but i cant stop thinking about you, Daddy you are still everything to me, Daddy you are the love of my life and i want you to know that i would do anything or give anything to have you back.

Daddy i guess all i'm trying to say is that................I MISS YOU.

Dedicated to my father: SOLOKOR JEHMIL BOCKARI  (Passed on March 30th 2013).

" Mirror "

It's  bright and reflects light, tells you who you are, how can you deny such a truth, could you ever runaway from yourself, it will reveal your deepest desires and flickers your darkest secrets, is there anything invisible, none can hide from its truth, none can feed it their lies, it is the master of  showing us what we cannot see.

They will tell you to look away, they will beg you to push it away, how many times have they lied about its essence in our lives, they say all it does is spread lies, they've told us it is vanity, they say it validates our beauty but how can a liar tell the truth and it keeps telling us that were beautiful.

I keep a few near me because it reflects my sorrow and shows my tears as art, it tells the world whats really in my heart, although I portray a hard exterior I am as light as butter but to the world I am a soldier ready for war whenever you are, so when its dawn I'll say my prayers and stand before one because I need to see my reflection in the mirror.

Fatty.B.

" I am Waiting "

Standing between enemy lines but i am unaware of who holds the gun, i twist and turn all i see is the ones that i love, who are they that despise me, where are those who wait upon my last breathe? My mother warned me about myself, she told me my character would break me, she said it would i hurt myself being me, she told me to wrap away my greatness before i live to witness life's tests. 

I have seen and heard, i have cried, i am waiting upon my smile.............where is the deliverer of my greatness, i was promised, i was promised to rise, i was told to let go, to LOVE and to be at peace but sometimes.....SOMETIMES....they push me......sometimes i want to do what would steal my ticket to heaven, sometimes i question the world and the lifeless, emotionless and hurtful souls that possess it, sometimes i beg my creator to take me with him, i ask him why he put me where i cannot mingle, where are the people i would be glued too? I am waiting, i am waiting for my answer, i am waiting for greatness, i am waiting for my lord and father to show them all that they cannot see, i am waiting patiently on my destiny.

Fatty.B.

PGP

" JULY "

The months ahead excite me, the years i yarn i doubt me, i want the best for me, i want to always feel free, to be the best version of me, to continuously vision my dreams, i love the sunshine so that is what i want to see, i think of my past and it depresses me.

I have a millions dreams living inside of me, i want the world to hear off me, my soul owns its own body and choose its own destiny, they never seem to get the best of me, they try, oh how hard they try but they'll never see me cry, the only time was when i stood by her bedside and begged her not to die, she lied and as she lied i cried, i held on and stood by her bedsid, with her last heartbeat, i fell to my knees, i begged him not to take her away from me, she died, her death.....her death did something unusual to me...i think it killed me. 

When i pray i pray with faith, i pray with water running down my face, i pray to be in a different place, a place where no one knows my face, my life i would replace, her memories i'd lock in my suitcase, i miss seeing her face, i miss everything that i once wanted to changed, oh how i wish she could hear me, i crave for her to hear me, to hear me say that i really wanted her to stay, i would have given anything on that day, i hope she knows that she really left me in pain, if they ask me i'd lie and say i'm okay, but everytime i think of her i cry inside, when she left i died inside, on the 25th i lost myself, i once loved the month of July.


Fatty.B.
PGP

" The Walk of Freedom "

I am in-between my destiny, where i am and where i am meant to be, why cant i get it right?, this load i carry is getting heavier as i walk, i try to run but it all off loads, I am racing against time, against my destiny, against where the world has envisioned me, how do i reach my destination, how can i carry this load that is slowly weighing me down, they seem to find it so easy, what is it with me? why cant i ignore and dismiss, why do i have all these emotions of all the things i miss?.


80% of me is already there, 20% is still waiting, waiting for what would have been the ending in my imagination, i have been warned, i have been begged, they have shared my tears, they taste my pain, they taste my hunger for evolution, my thirst for breakthrough, as i walk closer, as i approach, i  reach out for the door, i can smell it, i'm there, i've made it and suddenly it's dark, i open my eyes and the door is further away.


I ask many questions, i seek answers for this messed up existence, if i deserve one thing, it is my answer, my right to rise up, my right to walk with my head up high, my right to bury every wicked taste and every garment of unworthy existence, i ask, i seek and i beg, instead they grant me a label of insanity, this is not me, this is not who i visioned to be, all the blame lays upon me, my mouth still tastes bitter, i still carry my wrongs yet they throw theirs in my suitcase and walk away.


I am the child of destiny, the Queen of overcoming, the princess of heart in pieces, i declare that i will be overthrown and regain a new identity, i will share my testimony, my heart does not ache without reason, my smile does not fade without purpose, they cause hurt and reject my emotions, i will swallow the bullet you have shot at me, i will express the water you can installed in me, i will do many things, i shall rise again, i shall smile and laugh again, these memories won't hold me hostage, i will fight till my last breath, i will walk the walk of Freedom.


Fatty.B.
PGP


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